Everyone talks about personal growth like it’s this easy thing. Like it’s a straight climb from chaos to order. Friend, it is not. To borrow a phrase from a cheeky Timelord, it’s “wibbly wobbly.”
The Myth of Linear Progression
It’s easy to think of personal growth as a straight line from beginning to end. On the first day, we’re a dumpster fire, and our life is in shambles — or we’re doing pretty well and want to grow our strengths.
Progress doesn’t happen in a straight line. It ebbs and flows like the ocean tides. Though it’s cyclical, the water does eventually rise! You will, too!
It feels discouraging when we plateau — or worse, outright fail. Understand that setbacks will happen, and that’s part of the process. Instead of giving the setbacks all your focus, celebrate the small wins!
The last article I published flopped like a dying fish. I could be sad about it (okay, maybe I am), or I could celebrate that five more people read it than would have if I had never published it. That’s ten whole eyes, barring accidents, of course.
It’s five people I connected with. And that’s neat.
The Trap of External Validation: The Personal Growth Killer
We also get caught up in the “should haves” that society places on us. I should have started seriously writing twenty years ago. I should have gone to college sooner or decided on a career path by eighteen. I did none of that, and by thirty years old, I felt defeated.
There is undeniable societal pressure to achieve wealth or a picture-perfect family. All by the time you’re thirty. I promise they’re arbitrary inventions, not hard truths. Don’t compare yourself to anyone but you from yesterday. If you didn’t have it all figured out by twenty-five, so what? You’re figuring it out now.
The personal growth industry isn’t blameless, either. There are countless self-help books and courses. While there are some great resources, you must be discerning. Many peddle quick fixes and one-size-fits-all solutions that undermine your individual journey.
Instead, identify your own values and goals. Set realistic expectations and ignore the noise from the outside world. Celebrate YOUR journey and tell those external benchmarks to piss off.
The False Dichotomy of Happiness and Personal Growth
Happiness and growth aren’t enemies. Weird, innit? When I used to think of growth, I thought it was constant introspection and reflection. Sounds dreadful. I’m not that interesting!
When we start a journey like this, it’s easy to fall into the introspection trap, and it’s soul-sucking. Imagine being confined to the dusty corners of your own mind all the time!
Get out of your head and learn something new! Get creative and learn pottery, woodworking, or underwater basket weaving. Doesn’t matter. Do something.
You’re going to be terrible at it (at first). But you’ll learn how to overcome challenges and laugh at your mistakes. You’ll make enough mistakes to fill a museum with lopsided coffee mugs, but they’ll remind you how far you’ve come. And even if the final product does look like a potato, it’s cool, man.
Conclusion
The point is that growth is challenging, and there are ups and downs. Nobody masters anything overnight; be patient with yourself. What matters is you’re on your way to being the person you want to be. Society may whisper its should-haves, but you, my friend, are rewriting the narrative. This is your rise, your revolution, your magnificent becoming. Now go forth and show the world what you’re made of!